The best place for hearing aids is in ears
I visited my parents today. My Mum was telling me about how bad my Auntie’s hearing is these days. Turns out that she visited her GP about her hearing 2 years ago, was referred to the local hospital and was fitted with digital behind-the-ear hearing aids not long after. So, why is her hearing still so bad? She doesn’t wear her hearing aids, they sit in the cupboard at home.
She is one of the many who prefer to stay in denial about their hearing rather than do something about it. I’ve never spoken to her about it but I would guess she is worried about how the hearing aids will make her look. Will people think less of her? Will they think she is less intelligent? Will they shout or talk really slowly to her? I think this is a genuine worry for many people and that’s why they prefer to struggle on instead of doing the sensible thing.
To all those people out there who are hard of hearing, who have hearing aids and don’t wear them: the best place for your hearing aids is in your ears. All the worries about missing conversation, looking silly by saying the wrong thing and the general feeling of missing out will vanish. At first you will be very contious that people are looking at your ears – they won’t be, most people have better things to do. I honestly believe that you will notice such a difference in the quality of life that your hearing aids give you that you will never look back. Your hearing aids will be back in their rightful place.
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You are so right. Your aunt is at the beginning of her ‘journey’ of accepting hearing loss, and it will take some time. Has she contacted Hearing Concern? They have a helpline, and she can drop in for a friendly chat and cup of tea. I’ve always been deaf so don’t know anything else but it must be so much harder for someone who has an acquired hearing loss. Where do they fit in? How do they fit in? But you know the funny thing? People don’t even NOTICE. A few do, but so what? It’s her life, not theirs.
I was very self-conscious when I switched from CIC to ITE, but have since taken the “who cares” attitude. One really nice advantage to wearing noticeable aids is that people now KNOW that you are HoH, so when you ask them to repeat themselves, they dont have to wonder why.
I do clearly remember my first aids and the psychological process I went through. I dont think denial is really a good term, not for me anyways. I was just scared to know just how deaf I really was. That changed to amazement of hearing things I hadnt ever realized people could hear (typing on a keyboard in the next cubicle). Then annoyance at background noise and not being able to block it. Then “not hearing” those keyboards and phone conversations anymore.
@Tina
I doubt she has contacted Hearing Concern, or anyone else for that matter, she is still pretty much ignoring the problem completely.
I agree with you that most people will not notice a hearing aid, and if they do, they will not give it a second thought. The problem is convincing my aunt and others that!
@Aaron
Very good point about people seeing the aid and being made aware of the wearers problem.
I’ve always made sure that I have a volume control on my hearing aids so I can turn loud noises (and people) off whenever I need too! One of the benefits of being HoH!
Sometimes, they’re not comfortable (physically) in the ear, or sometimes the noise is kind of painful if the hearing aid is amplifying the wrong sorts of sounds. I used to be the go-to point with a couple of elderly relatives in my family (picture, if you will, a 14 year old girl lecturing her 80 great aunt about wearing hearing aids — and then the two of them going out to lunch both wearing BTE’s
)
But sometimes they do need to work up to it, an hour here and there. I mean, I’ve worn them all my life and don’t even notice them but that’s not going to be true for everyone…
One thing you could try, is get hold of a hearing aid and wear it yourself, without switching it on of course. Take your aunt out for a drink and let her see how people react. If they do.
Or nick hers
people definitely react. it is subtle, but when I was very self-conscious about mine I noticed that others noticed. now I dont even think about it, and once in awhile someone is really staring at my ears it takes a while to realize “oh, theyre looking at my aids”.
biggest reactions I get is “but youre so young to need hearing aids” and “wow too many concerts huh?”. obviously both are a result of ignorance of the general population, but whatever. I educate people who seem receptive and blow off comments of those who arent.
I can understand your aunt’s view. We didn’t “discover” my hearing loss until about 4 years ago (apparently, i’d had the loss since i was little), and though i was amazed and thrilled at all the things i could suddenly hear, there was a bit of…nervousness of how my friends would react. I’d gone through elementary, middle, and some of high school thinking that i could hear what everyone else could hear.
Would they treat me the same? How would they react seeing hearing aids in, and more than that, how do i explain it to them?
Of course, i needn’t have worried.
People don’t usually notice my aids, unless i point them out. Sure, there are going to be some people who notice, and they may sloooooow dooooown their speech or start YELLING. hehehe…it’s funny to see their reactions when i turn my aids off mid-sentence. *grinz* “if you’re going to yell, i don’t need these on.” 
Really, you just can’t let others bother you. like tina said “It’s her life, not theirs.”
Wearing hearing aids for the first time is going to be a big step for anyone. I think it took me about 4 years to feel fully comfortable wearing mine. I’ve been wearing them now for about 20 years and I don’t think I’ve ever really had a nasty comment from anyone – maybe a bit of teasing at school, but that’s it.
Maybe people’s reactions are partly governed by the wearers attitude to their hearing aids? If the wearer is full of confidence and upfront about their disability then no-one will give their aids a second thought. Whereas, if the wearer is at pains to hide their aids then others may dwell on them a bit more?
[...] was a recent blog post on DeafRead entitled: The best place for hearing aids is in ears, written by Steve Claridge, who lives near Oxford, UK. The focus of Steve’s blog is on [...]
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One way around this problem is a step by step approach. Many audiologists advocate this approach to get used to sound (Harvey Dillon ‘Hearing Aids), however this method can be very useful for getting used to wearing a hearing aid in a social setting. Start off using the aid/s at home for the TV and one to one conversation with close family. This allows the benefits of the aid to be experienced without the awkward embarrassment some people feel. Gradually start using the aid in other places. For me it was much easier to walk into a large supermarket where I was 99% unlikely to meet anyone I knew, than to walk into a social setting where I knew everyone. If we had close friends around for tea, I might discuss my hearing loss, and wear the aid when we went to their house.
As for the sound not being quite right, ask for a Real Ear Measurement at your local audiology department.
If the mould is uncomfortable, it should be adjusted.
Encourage your elderly relative to wear the aids when you visit.
I have hearing aids, I have had them since I was 14 but I don’t like wearing them. They also give me a headache so then I have to take them out. I only wear them in the house, none of my friends know I have hearing aids as I don’t know what their reaction would be. I have had a hearing loss since I was little but never been given hearing aids till I was 14.
[...] deafness and her refusal to wear her hearing aids are commonplace (See Steve’s article, “The Best Place for Hearing Aids is in Ears” for a similar woeful tale). Because I wear my hearing aids, I am granted authority, power, and [...]
I was reading a blog recently that was quite interesting in relation to this issue. It was discussing the recent increase in people with normal hearing who actually wear hearing aids when they go out to noisy venues, making the wearing of hearing aids almost a fashion accessory.
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This brought back how it was when I first started wearing my hearing aids – ten years ago now. I was determined to get used to them and it took less than 6 months before they felt so comfortable I’d forget they were there. I know when I accidentally drowned them in the bath that I’d cracked it.
Other people really don’t notice – expecially as I have long hair – I put my hair up sometimes so I can be SEEN to be HOH as Aaron said – it can make life easier. Actually, people notice my hearing loss more than my hearing aids – when I ask them to repeat or get phone messages wrong, or just nod in a vague sort of way because i can’t be bothered to ask someone to repeat. A friend said she KNEW when I did that, because I ‘smile and nod, smile and nod’. How stupidlooking is that?!
Nicest thing I had said to me was that I’d inspired a friend to dig her aids out the drawer – because we’re about the same age and she didn’t feel such a freak as I was so laid back about wearing mine… We often compare notes now!
It’s so nice to find your blog, Steve…
When I was a high school teacher, one of my classes was a peer counseling project. Many of my students worked closely with the hearing impaired studens who had a special program in our school. I became close friends of their teacher who waa also HOH. From her, I learned about some of the problems that she and her students had with hering aids. That was thirty years ago! Luckily, the technology in today’s hearing devices allow us to avoid many of those problems.
A couple of years ago, I was begining to realize that I wasn’t hearing what people were saying to me – particularly women, who seemed to move their lips, makning no sound. Finally, I had my hearing checked and discovered that I have a rather large hearing loss. The hearing aid specialist hss been absolutely wonderful, working to ensure that my hearing aids are perfectly fitted and adjusted. I have very high tech, over the ear models that have a remote control that’s mounted in a good-looking watch.
When I first got my heating aids I was worried that everyone was going to notice them, although they are quite small and are actually almost invisible. I remembered what my co-teacher once said about hearing aids to her students who were reluctant to wear them: “Your hearing loss is more obvious than your hearing aids!” That’s when I stopped worrying about being seen as an “elderly, deaf senior citizen” (which I actually am!)
My hearing aids have literally changed my life. I no longer feel socially isolated. I can hear things like birds singing and my feet crunching in gravel. I enjoy listening to music again.
Thanks for this blog!
Hey Sam,
Thanks for reading and taking the time to comment.
“Your hearing loss is more obvious than your hearing aids!” is a great quote and so, so true. If only more people would realise it!
These reasons are a load of cobblers! Most aids are designed by people who are not deaf so therefor dont have them stuck in their ears! Notice how behind the ear types have the microphone pointing to your REAR when the sound you WANT is in front of you?!….Geeze. The ear moulds make my ears itch and magnify’s wax production! Notice how the people in your local ENT clinic can ALL hear? They call you by name when its your turn….your deaf and they are calling you by name! They then expound the joys of wearing aids but dont wear them themselves….whats this called? ….patronising?
I have been nearsighted since age ten, so the idea of compensating for deficient senses is familiar to me and does not shake my self esteem.
Now I have a 50% hearing loss of the kind that hearing aids help best with. I know it will be harder to adjust to hearing aids at age 69 than to glasses at age 10, but I will do it. I see too many friends accepting social isolation rather than being willing to deal with their handicap. It’s a mistake.
I used to hate my hearing aids. But not now. It took 6 months to accept mine, and another couple of years before I went back to Audiology to say I’ll accept the other one now. My advice is wear em. They help better with them in then out!
[...] The best place for hearing aids is in earsShe doesn't wear her hearing aids, they sit in the cupboard at home. … Your hearing aids will be back in their rightful place. … [...]